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zeri |
Jan 23 2004, 10:06 PM
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Dreamer
Group: Admin
Posts: 2.498
Joined: --
From: Bucuresti
Member No.: 14
Points: 807
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Ma gandeam sa avem si un topic de felul asta...nu de alta dar cate odata ma cam plictisesc pe net si un banc bun ma invioreaza.
Rog sa nu postati decat cate un banc pe post...maxim 2 daca sunt mai mici...sau hai si mai multe daca sunt foarte mici :)
Incep eu (un banc pe care l-am primit pe mail):
Inceputul anului scolar, intr-un liceu din America, diriginta le prezinta clasei un nou coleg: Sakiro Suzuki din Japonia. Incepe ora:
- Sa vedem, cine stie cel mai mult despre istoria Americii. Cine a zis: 'Libertate sau moarte!'?
Tacere de mormant in clasa, numai Suzuki ridica mana:
- Patrick Henry 1775 Philadelphia.
- Bravo Suzuki, si cine a zis: 'Tara este poporul, de aceea poporul nu poate sa moara."?
Suzuki:
- Abraham Lincoln 1863 Washington.
Diriginta se uita peste clasa si zice:
- Mi-e rusine pentru voi, Suzuki vine din Japonia si stie mai multe despre America decat voi! Din spate se aude o voce:
- Pupa-ma-n cur Japo imputit!
- Cine a zis? intreaba diriginta.
Suzuki se ridica si zice:
- Generalul McArthur 1942 la Guadalcanal, si Lee Iacocca 1982 la sedinta actionarilor Chrysler.
In clasa iarasi liniste, numai din spate se aude iara:
- Imi vine sa vomit!
Diriginta striga:
- Cine a fost nemernicul!
Suzuki:
- George Bush senior catre Tanaka ministru japonez in timpul unei mese de serviciu, Tokio 1991.
Un elev se ridica si zice:
- Suge-ma!
Diriginta crizata:
- De ajuns! Cine a fost impertinentul?
Suzuki:
- Bill Clinton catre Monica Lewinsky, 1997 Washington, Casa Alba, Biroul Oval.
Inca un elev se ridica si zicet:
- Suzuki asta e un rahat mare!
Suzuki:
- Valentino Rossi 2002 Brazilia Superbike GP.
In clasa e un haos total, diriginta lesina, se deschide usa si intra directorul:
- Io o adunatura de idioti mai mari ca voi n-am vazut in viata mea!
Suzuki:
- Adrian Nastase catre Tanasescu ministru de finante la o noua sedinta de modificare a bugetului si de creare a noi impozite, Bucuresti 2003
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Elf Princess |
Jan 31 2004, 09:43 AM
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Incepator
Group: Members+
Posts: 31
Joined: --
From: Bucuresti
Member No.: 13
Points: 1
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Car vs. Computers
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft; we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would stall on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to remove and reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
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Posts in this topic
zeri Bancuri Jan 23 2004, 10:06 PM CyBeR RE: Bancuri Jan 25 2004, 11:35 AM chibimox RE: Bancuri Jan 25 2004, 11:50 AM Ingerasu RE: Bancuri Jan 25 2004, 03:29 PM Ingerasu RE: Bancuri Jan 25 2004, 03:51 PM Ingerasu RE: Bancuri Jan 25 2004, 09:28 PM Lumpy RE: Bancuri Jan 26 2004, 01:57 PM Uje RE: Bancuri Jan 26 2004, 09:30 PM Lumpy RE: Bancuri Jan 27 2004, 01:29 PM zeri RE: Bancuri Jan 27 2004, 09:09 PM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Jan 28 2004, 03:23 PM Kataracta RE: Bancuri Jan 28 2004, 04:27 PM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Jan 29 2004, 04:19 PM kaoru RE: Bancuri Jan 29 2004, 10:25 PM Ingerasu RE: Bancuri Jan 29 2004, 11:53 PM Ingerasu RE: Bancuri Jan 30 2004, 12:01 AM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Jan 30 2004, 11:03 AM Lumpy RE: Bancuri Jan 30 2004, 01:48 PM Kataracta Bogati si saraci Jan 30 2004, 02:04 PM The_Fool_on_the_Hill RE: Bancuri Jan 30 2004, 02:48 PM chibimox RE: Bancuri Jan 30 2004, 06:17 PM kaoru RE: Bancuri Jan 31 2004, 09:50 AM CyBeR RE: Bancuri Jan 31 2004, 10:30 AM Claudia RE: Bancuri Jan 31 2004, 10:45 AM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Feb 1 2004, 09:08 AM kaoru RE: Bancuri Feb 1 2004, 11:44 AM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Feb 2 2004, 08:16 AM Kataracta RE: Bancuri Feb 2 2004, 10:31 AM Lumpy RE: Bancuri Feb 2 2004, 01:39 PM zeri RE: Bancuri Feb 2 2004, 07:47 PM kaoru RE: Bancuri Feb 2 2004, 11:59 PM Majin :> Feb 3 2004, 11:56 AM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Feb 3 2004, 01:12 PM Kataracta RE: Bancuri Feb 3 2004, 03:53 PM chibimox RE: Bancuri Feb 3 2004, 04:31 PM kaoru RE: Bancuri Feb 3 2004, 06:01 PM zeri RE: Bancuri Feb 3 2004, 06:37 PM Uje RE: Bancuri Feb 3 2004, 10:13 PM Diana RE: Bancuri Feb 4 2004, 07:33 AM kaoru RE: Bancuri Feb 4 2004, 10:17 AM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Feb 4 2004, 10:55 AM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Feb 5 2004, 09:08 AM kaoru RE: Bancuri Feb 5 2004, 09:12 PM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Feb 6 2004, 09:07 AM APoKLips RE: Bancuri Feb 6 2004, 02:45 PM CyBeR RE: Bancuri Feb 6 2004, 03:37 PM kaoru RE: Bancuri Feb 6 2004, 05:49 PM zeri RE: Bancuri Feb 6 2004, 08:00 PM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Feb 7 2004, 09:15 AM CyBeR RE: Bancuri Feb 7 2004, 10:39 AM kaoru RE: Bancuri Feb 7 2004, 02:19 PM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Feb 7 2004, 03:07 PM Kataracta RE: Bancuri Feb 7 2004, 06:01 PM Lumpy RE: Bancuri Feb 7 2004, 07:35 PM Chris RE: Bancuri Feb 7 2004, 08:36 PM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Feb 7 2004, 11:14 PM Claudia RE: Bancuri Feb 8 2004, 12:43 AM Urfe RE: Bancuri Feb 8 2004, 12:55 AM Kataracta RE: Bancuri Feb 8 2004, 03:49 AM kaoru RE: Bancuri Feb 8 2004, 09:59 AM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Feb 8 2004, 01:50 PM morebla RE: Bancuri Feb 8 2004, 09:09 PM morebla RE: Bancuri Feb 8 2004, 09:28 PM kaoru RE: Bancuri Feb 9 2004, 12:15 AM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Feb 9 2004, 11:28 AM kaoru RE: Bancuri Feb 10 2004, 12:02 AM LArSON RE: Bancuri Feb 10 2004, 09:08 AM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Feb 10 2004, 09:50 AM kaoru RE: Bancuri Feb 10 2004, 10:46 AM Kataracta RE: Bancuri Feb 10 2004, 12:37 PM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Feb 10 2004, 01:35 PM kaoru RE: Bancuri Feb 10 2004, 10:56 PM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Feb 11 2004, 12:03 PM Kataracta RE: Bancuri Feb 11 2004, 03:38 PM Claudia RE: Bancuri Feb 11 2004, 04:28 PM zeri RE: Bancuri Feb 11 2004, 06:29 PM Elf Princess RE: Bancuri Feb 12 2004, 09:14 AM kaoru RE: Bancuri Feb 12 2004, 10:00 AM Kataracta RE: Bancuri Feb 13 2004, 11:48 PM Ender RE: Bancuri Feb 15 2004, 03:54 AM Ender RE: Bancuri Feb 15 2004, 03:59 AM kaoru RE: Bancuri Feb 15 2004, 12:33 PM Urfe RE: Bancuri Feb 15 2004, 11:13 PM Ender Intrebari intrebatoare!!! Feb 16 2004, 10:35 AM zeri RE: Bancuri Feb 16 2004, 09:49 PM NoOne RE: Bancuri Feb 17 2004, 07:25 PM zeri RE: Bancuri Feb 17 2004, 08:59 PM Uje RE: Bancuri Feb 17 2004, 11:04 PM Diana RE: Bancuri Feb 18 2004, 02:29 PM Diana Jurnalul ultrasecret al lui Aragorn, fiul lui Arathorn Feb 18 2004, 02:32 PM LArSON RE: Bancuri Feb 18 2004, 03:29 PM NoOne RE: Bancuri Feb 19 2004, 09:50 AM removed_on_request_20121227 RE: Bancuri Feb 19 2004, 10:42 AM chibimox RE: Bancuri Feb 19 2004, 01:54 PM Diana RE: Bancuri Feb 19 2004, 02:34 PM Uje RE: Bancuri Feb 19 2004, 05:43 PM chibimox RE: Bancuri Feb 19 2004, 06:39 PM zeri RE: Bancuri Feb 19 2004, 07:04 PM LArSON RE: Bancuri Feb 20 2004, 07:58 AM
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